Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Money Sucks, RuPaul Tucks: Why The Economy Still Blows Chunks.

Why does Lisa Rinna look like the drag queen here?
Having dinner recently with old friends at a Italian restaurant in Chelsea; I couldn’t help but zone out as my friend-just fresh from the airport, lugged his clunky Louis Vuitton luggage to our table and preceded to open his bags and show us his Gucci wallet; Persol sunglasses; LV book bag; LV laptop case; LV pen holder; Prada iPad cover; Prada receipt holder (!) I’ve always loved some of my friends taste, but have to admit I was half expecting him to pull out a Tom Ford designer pouch, that stored used gum at some point. He made me think; has the economy gotten any better?

As we sat at our table looking for the waiter; starving with a thirst for vodka (our waiter was too busy going bonkers over bug-eyed Lance Bass, who was seated nearby) I looked around and noticed for a Wednesday night, this place and a lot of restaurants in Chelsea was jumping. One could argue that the economy is doing great, but with pay cuts occurring more frequently than at any time since the Great Depression; unemployment is still on the increase. The dollar value is falling faster than Aviva Drescher on a recent eposode of Bravo's "Real Houswives of New York" (she has one leg)

If you pick up a newspaper or watch the nightly news, there’s nothing but breezy stories about the economy, and how the recession is over. Welcome my friends to propaganda bullshit 2012.

Now I see how Romney makes money; hand jobs.
Airlines cried that they don’t make money--with most cutting off little things like free nuts; when in fact after three years of losses, the U.S. airline industry finally made out like a pimp with the best Ho. Airlines grabbed $3.4 billion from the extra bag charges alone -- a 24% increase since 2010, according to a new Department of Transportation.

Delta made the most green from bag fees totaling $952 million, followed by United and Continental at nearly $655 million. American collected $580 million and US Airways $513 million; and they can’t give us some free nuts?

According to The Wall Street Journal in an article published June 15, 2012. "The sudden unexpected downturn in economic data, combined with real concerns about inflation, starts to remind investors of some nasty recessions in the past, and investors have the right to be concerned." Oh crap.

Companies like Facebook are allowed to over inflate stock; so fools like us buy it and loose our hard earned money. We think we're getting a piece of the pie, when the reality is; there's not even crumbs. Taxi cab prices in New York increased by 17% this month; which makes me ask; anybody know where I can buy a donkey?

I guess we can’t kill ourselves with worry; we have to take one pill at a time and hope for the best. I just wish people didn’t bullshit us about the economy. The truth is; the powers that be are finding ways to milk citizens out of their hard earned money. There has been talk of pay toilets on some Airlines; soon some wise guy will find a way to charge us for the air we breathe.

Things are still OK for some people (especially my designer gay pal and Mitt Romney) but the rest of us who are considered middle class, or be gads: lower class are in the dog house, and its pouring rain with leaks in the roof.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Some People Don’t Want To Date…You

"I do not trust people who don't love themselves and yet tell me, 'I love you.' There is an Africansaying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt."
— Maya Angelou

Trying to get your ass in shape at the gym is hard. Trying to get a second date in New York is like trying to find your underwear after an orgy-hard work. Why is it so hard to find that right girl or guy? it's like everyone you meet has a third eye; looking for a better upgrade.

New York can be hell for single people; most claim they want to meet a nice mate but the truth is they really don’t want to. A lot of people claim they want love and that there are no good men or women left in New York; bullshit, the majority of these single people don’t know what they want, and make it a hobby to make you believe they want a relationship, when they have no attention of going past 3 or 4 dates.

"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean."
— Maya Angelou

Why do these singles fool themselves and you? Good question; sane people that enjoy being single have a goodtime and are honest about not wanting to get tied down. Players & fakers grab your hand on the first date; text you constantly and always tell you how cute you are. There’s nothing worse than someone holding you one day, and ignoring you the next day.

I guess you never want to give up when trying to meet your mate; but constant obstacles and let downs when it comes to love make it impossible not to explode sometimes. So how do you avoid the players and fakers? I’d love to tell you the answer my friends, but I can’t; some of these players & fakers don’t even know what they’re doing to people; so delete their number, and flush them out of your lives.

Actor Taylor Kinney seems to love him some Lady GaGa; will it last?

"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option."
— Maya Angelou

The best advice is to dust yourself off and get back on your feet; we’ve all been burned and it eventually heals. Life’s a crap shoot, either learn to play or give up. I won’t give up and hope you won’t either. If a scary mess like Jonny Weir can get gay married; that means there's hope for all of us.


Sunday, June 5, 2011

Maids Have Tough Ass Jobs

Cleaning after people is hard work; especially if you’re employed by a celebrity. If you work for Naomi Campbell you get the Tater Tots beat out of you when you can’t find your bosses size zero jeans. If you work for Arnold Schwarzenegger you get screwed; then re-screwed when his wife finds out. When I could afford a maid I couldn’t even get her to do windows, let alone bang me without a condom. I have to tell you, if I screwed my boss; I wouldn’t go back to cleaning toilets; didn’t Arnie have some filing work to do?

Granted there are maids who enjoy hiding the feather duster with their boss. For some of them it’s just sex, or even the thrill of a rich powerful man just wanting them. Some maids probably think their boss will leave the wife for them, fat chance.

Long ago the rich raped and abused their slaves and got away with it, maids or companions were not treated any better, often getting low wages, beatings and spotty time off. Luckily today, times have changed thanks to unions and teamwork. Some hotels have now agreed to install panic buttons for the maids. What happens when you’re a maid in someone’s home or traveling aboard with your boss? You’re screwed literally and figurally.

If you work in a hotel you get a lot of rich oily jerks manhandling you like a Rubik’s Cube at an 80’s theme party. Some people wondered why the maid didn’t fight off slimy French Monetary leader Dominique Strauss-Kahn; sadly a lot of people that clean toilets are foreign and come to the United States to try to make a better life for themselves, and their family. A lot of maids don’t have green cards, so they are scared to go to the Police. I bet a lot of molestations happen at these fancy hotels and are covered up with money and threats.

A good man is hard to find; a good maid, even harder; some maid’s suck and some take their job very seriously. Respecting people who work for you should be done professionally but with fairness and kindness. Remember, the woman giving you an extra towel, or that older lady making up your bed; are not only maids but someone’s friend, wife, sister or mother.