Saturday, February 25, 2012

Whitney Houston’s Last Photo In Her Coffin:” It’s Not Right, But It’s Ok”

It was “Heartbreak Hotel” for Whitney Houston fans as the National Enquirer printed Whitney Houston’s last photo as she lay in her coffin. The fallen star lay decked out in $500.000 worth of jewelry; her favorite purple dress and solid gold shoes. Her face, gorgeously made-up for her last public event seems to almost want to scream, “I Want To Dance With Somebody Who Loves Me.” Or maybe the more ironic, “Didn’t We Almost Have It All.”

“Exhale (Shoop, Shoop).” For the details here, The National Enquirer is not known for kindness, class or tact and that’s just why millions of readers have made them one of the number 1 selling rags in the world. We all have to admit you can’t help watching a train wreck and The Enquirer always does a great cover; often telling every truth or untruth in gory, ”Step By Step.” Details; How many times have you been in line at the super market and had to pick up one that had an ugly picture of a celebrity you’re sick of seeing? You could get “So Emotional.” All you want about the photos but most humans in general get satisfaction in another’s failure; especially one like Houston, who died at her own hands, “One Moment In Time.”

The funeral home reports that the photo was taken by one of Whitney’s classless family members; I guess The Enquirer gave them a “Million Dollar Bill.” For someone close to Whitney too snap the degrading picture made me wonder, “Where Do Broken Hearts Go?”

“Queen Of The Night,” Tyler Perry, closeted homosexual and cross dressing/actor/producer/director spoke at Whitney’s funeral, stating that Whitney “Loved The Lord!” Well no disrespect but Whitney loved the pipe, and the drugs and she should have pulled it together, if not for herself, for her daughter.

I think it’s pathetic to pretend she was a saint; she was a real human being with flaws and eccentricities and no matter what Whitney, “I Will Always Love You.”

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Momangers: How Moms Become Their Kids Pimp.

So when you’re child becomes the thing that makes you money; do you base decisions on the welfare of your child or the thing that fattens your wallet?

Most of these moms become pimps for their kids; case in point the tacky Kardasian clan. Their mom Kris Jenner is famous for brokering deals for her litter; my sources tell me the Kardashian’s rarely turn down an offer for their name or likeness to be used.

There aren’t many mommas who would hatch a deal for their daughters to spread for Playboy magazine, but Momanger Kris Jenner did and smiled as her daughter took off her panties for the skin rag while counting her 12% commission.

"Momangers," refers to mothers who manage their kids' celebrity careers. The word was made up from a cross between mom and manager; I just love that the word separated means Mom and Anger. Anger is usually how these kids feel when they get older; less cute and find out they are so broke they can’t even afford Taco Bell.

I love when some celebrity poses for Playboy and says it’s for artistic reasons; bullshit; it’s for fame and money (nothing wrong with that) just don’t try to act like your curing Cancer or reading to the blind; basically your taking off your clothes so guys can masturbate.

Lindsey Lohan is more famous now for her numerous arrest and barbaric family scandals then her acting career. Lindsey’s hard partying Momanger Dina Lohan is often scene whooping it up with her troubled daughter like she never left prom night. Momma Lohan has brokered a deal for the apple of her eye to shed her borrowed designer duds by posing nude for Playboy. The first spread was rumored to be so bad that Playboy had to reshoot it; what a surprise; nothing is more sexy then a 25-year-old addict who looks 40, and is in a deep denial about her life and great opportunities she has wasted.

I have to admit the photo’s look nice; of course they are so photo shopped she looks like a cartoon; but what the hell; it’s the first good thing Lohan has done in years; so my hat-ah-legs up to her.

Nothing is more of a train wreck then the little dumplings on Toddlers And Tiaras; A TV show on TLC. Little girls wear more make-up then an aging drag queen; dress like Las Vegas hookers and sing and dance like they have ants in their pants. On the sidelines their Momangers (mostly obese women with 3 chins) hoot, holler and yell for them to do their tricks on stage with all the warmth of a James Bond villain. Most of the tarted-up tots are juiced up on Mountain Dew and Red Bull given to them by Mommie-meanest.

So can you still be a good mother and a manager all in one? I doubt it; I’m sure there are a few, but most parents that rely on their children to pay their rent will probably fall to the dark side and never come back. One day when the child grows up (most have a 10% chance of keeping their careers in adulthood) the little darling child will become a big bitch if the fame machine is still not working for them.

At the end of the day there will always be another TV show, movie or singing gig; the years wasted pimping your child? It won’t ever come back again.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Whitney Houston Found Dead In Hotel Tub.

On the eve of the Grammy awards a winner of many Grammy’s was found dead in a hotel by her bodyguard, she was 48-years-old.

In the beginning of her career Whitney Houston was known for having a semi famous mother (Cissy Houston) and a even more famous aunt (Dionne Warwick) she out famed them both with many top 10 hits and movie roles. In later years Houston became more known for her rocky marriage to Bobby Brown and her out of control drug use.

Houston was pronounced dead at 3:55 p.m. (6:55 p.m. ET) at the Beverly Hilton hotel despite resuscitation efforts, a police spokesman said.

Beverly Hills Police Lt. Mark Rosen said there were "no obvious signs of criminal intent" and that the cause of her death is being investigated. Many suspect drugs.

Houston's bodyguard found her body, said Courtney Barnes, publicist for singer Ray J, who was dating the pop diva. That Whitney would be dating a loser like Ray J; famous for being singer/actress Brandy’s brother, but most famous for starring in the sex tape that made Kim Kardashian famous.

Whitney, just this week seemed out of it.

It’s sad, like Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse; I always wished Whitney would get it together; every great new picture of Whitney was soon followed by five nasty ones and rumors of drug problems and erratic behavior.

If anything can be learned from this is that drugs kill people; but the ones who die get off easy; their family and close friends will spend there days mourning their loved one.

Marion Patricia Houston, Whitney Houston's sister-in-law and manager, has created a candle in Houston's honor. Her company, Marion P Candles, the candle was inspired by Whitney; right.

"Whitney loved Marion's candles and gave them as a gift to her friends this past Christmas." says the press release. They are biodegradable and melt into shea butter oil blah blah. The candles cost $65. Houston just died and this women is already trying to milk the public? it's easy to see why Houston's rehab failed with horrible people like this around her.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Forget Lana Del Rey; Meet Karmin!

Entertainment media for weeks has been touting Lana Del Rey as the next great thing besides Botox; her images have been poured into magazine as if coming off a roll of toilet paper. I’d heard a lot about her and finally checked out her album on iTunes; Del Rey wasn’t for me except if I ran out of Ambien. I found her music boring and quickly wondered who she knew/or blew to get her record deal.

Two weeks later Lana Del Rey appeared on Saturday Night Live; I checked it out; thinking maybe I would like her after all; she sucked like a lemon. Her performance was a bunch of mumbling and stiff body movements that reminded me of the Bride Of Frankenstein. The next day the news media reported that she was the worst live act in SNL history; I guess they forgot about Ashley Simpson.

Listening to the radio when painting my new apartment I kept hearing this song called “Crash Your Party.” I loved it and wondered who this new sassy black chick was? A month later I caught the video at the gym; to my surprise it’s a really retro looking white girl and adorable looking white dude. Checking them out on iTunes I loved the music and the video was great. So why isn’t Karmin getting hand-job from the press that Del Rey is getting? Del Rey must have a better agent.

So if you dig Del Rey; good for you. Want to try something new and fresh and fun to listen to at the gym? Check out Karmin; as of now they only have two original songs; with a full album out in the spring; check them out on Youtube, where they were discovered, doing awesome cover songs(the two cuties are dating)

I guess I should have waited to give them coverage until I hear the full album but hell; I’m all about talking about someone who isn’t overexposed-yet. Also the guy in Karmin is super cute!

Check out the videos and decide for yourself.