Friday, August 31, 2012

American Horror Story Season 2 Promo Videos Are Great!

Jessica Lange plays Sister Jude; want to bet she'll beat you with more than a ruler?
Just when you gave up on seeing anything on TV with a good horror element this Fall Season, "American Horror Story," Season 2 has already sent the internet abuzz with scary assed promo spots; sure to chill the most jaded.

"American Horror Story" Season 2 has been renamed "American Horror Story: Asylum." because it takes place not in the house from the first season, and has all new charactors (though 5 of the actors from Season 1 are playing different roles) and takes place in an Asylum.

Check out some of the video promo's here and be sure to watch Wednesday, October 17, at 10 p.m. EST on the FX cable network.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

True Blood Season 5 Finale: Does It Still Have Bite?

True Blood’s fifth season has been overripe and lost; some storylines should have been thrown out with the spoiled fruit before making the actors film them. Certain characters have gotten more annoying than usual. Let’s start with Tara; Bloods biggest complainer has finally become a vampire, and spent most of the season angry and yelling (her normal routine) Am I the only one wishing someone would stake this bitch? Now she and (yawn) Pam are an (yawn) item.

Chris Meloni was brought in to play Roman. I love Meloni as an actor but his storyline was a snooze, and added as much as a fart to a restaurant famous for its chili; his best scene was when he killed the bratty kid vampire.

Poor Alcide, how the writers waste the talents of Joe Manganiello; there hasn’t been this wimpy of a werewolf since “Teen Wolf 2.” Not only is Manganiello tasteful on the eyes, but he acts the hell out of worthless plots and words that Meryl Strep would quit acting if she had to recite them; why his storylines are a boring I don’t know, but dam, give the dude something strong and juicy; he’s wasted like a bloomed Rose in a garbage can.

Russell got killed by Eric (again!) and thank God; Lilith; or whoever you believe in because he added nothing to the show. Russell was fun for a season and should have stayed buried. He wasn’t given much to do but pout and show off his “Golden Girls” hair cut.

The Snookie/Bill/Eric storyline has gone belly-up like a Goldfish after too much food, and I’d thought I would miss it but don’t.

What was great about the Season 5 finale? Maurella, fairy friend of Snookie goes into labor and pops out 4 (!) of Andy’s babies with the help of his girlfriend Holly, “My light broke!” this whole scene from start to end is classic TB that I fell in love with; drama with funny humor and off-beat characters all coming together in Merlotte’s.

Bill drank the Lilith’s blood and exploded like a Republican at an abortion clinic. It was pretty shocking, Bill can’t be dead, oh no! But wait he’s alive again, with super duper fangs.

Hopefully the next, and rumored last season will go back to the form of season’s 1 and 2; if not let’s hope it really does die a True Death and doesn’t come back after next year.

I know Bill, Season 5 was 50/50 in greatness, but you ended it with those big new fangs.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Are Girls Who Don’t Wear Panties Gross or Go-Getters?

Well, at least she's wearing underwear.

Sharon Stone lifted herself to stardom when she showed her assets in “Basic Instinct,” and became a Star. Sadly, hairless harlots followed suit, with stripper names like Britney, Paris and Lindsay, each getting out of cars with the grace of an octopus exiting a washing machine.

I was enjoying my Sunday afternoon, and then it happened; my enthusiasm dropped like the director of “Top Gun”.

Sitting in Starbucks writing, I was shocked to see this over 40ish lady sitting across from me, spread eagle and void of underwear. At first I thought I was mistaken and maybe she had a pet spider on her lap, but on closer inspection IT looked like someplace the Loc Ness Monster would be hiding.

I tried to ignore the Black Hole that kept staring at me like a mean alley cat, but after awhile I could have sworn IT was winking at me. IT made me think; what kind of person doesn’t wear underwear with a skirt? The first kind of person that comes to mind is a hooker, which makes sense; you can’t sell the cake without some frosting and frills, but why would a non-hooker not wear her Underoos?

I had to ask a couple of straight guys what they thought of it. Mostly all agreed that a girl who doesn’t wear underwear is a sure fire easy lay. One straight dude told me,” it’s hot when she’s young and pretty, but when you see the old chicks doing it; you want to throw up your cookies.”

Some girls I asked were divided, as one told me “with some skirts it just looks better without the lines.” Other girls turned their nose up, often remarking, “Girls who don’t wear underwear are cheap and dirty looking.”

My mind went back to the Starbucks skank; was she gross, a slut, an exhibitionist or just stupid; maybe all of the above. There are times to be sexy, but sitting in Starbucks with nature’s credit card on display isn’t hot or alluring; just gross.

I remember when I was a young lad in catholic school; the nuns use to tell us to close our mouths when we chewed our food; if only they had told the panty-less girls to do the same with their legs.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Silver Fox Outfoxed? Anderson Cooper’s Boyfriend Caught Cheating.

Anderson Cooper’s boyfriend Ben Maisani, 39, was caught kissing a dopey looking dude in a New York City park, and it wasn’t a peck on the cheek; more like tonsil ping pong. As the pictures show, the horny little Chihuahua’s seem like they need to be neutered, fast; I doubt Maisani was just asking the guy who cuts his Prince Valiant hair-don’t.

2012 hasn’t been the best year for Anderson, 45, with ratings down for viewer challenged CNN, including his own news show on the network, Anderson Cooper 360. Anderson’s other show, the daytime “Anderson,” barely made it to a second season, and many predict it’s either sink or swim when it returns in September; maybe his first show should be titled, “Fianc├ęs Who Get Caught Creeping.”

Who is Ben Maisani? He owns a gay club and has nice arms, but so what he looks like the typical nose-in-the-air scumbag. Anderson needs to swim a little higher in the gay dating pound next time he goes boyfriend shopping, and hopefully not get another social climbing jerk-off like Maisani. I guess it’s great to know that even rich people have problems, or like my mom always said, “Mo Money, Mo Medication.”

Cooper and Maisani were to be married in September or October of this year, but now it looks like that will go the way of Megan Fox’s career. I hope friends like good buddy Kathy Griffith can take back their wedding gifts.

Here’s the exclusive photo’s published by the Daily Mail/Splash News; they both look slimey to me.

Wanna bet Anderson kicks this wench out of his townhouse?

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Mitt Romney Picks Ryan, Hillary Clinton Starts Dancing

When Mitt Romney unveiled today that he picked Ken doll, and old people hater Paul Ryan for his running mate, Hillary Clinton couldn't stop dancing on her trip to South Africa. Maybe Clinton knows something about Ryan that we don't know.

Now Clinton didn't do white people any favors with her dancing moves, but in recent years has been showing a softer and funny side; way different than her old style which was all BB (Buisness Bitch) Now if we could only get her back into the White House as President, i'd be dancing too.

"Aqua Net is the shit."
Romney and Ryan (Now that sounds like a gay porn film) look like they will have high ass hairspray bills between them; get ready my Republican friends, this is where your donation money will be spent. God Bless America

Friday, August 10, 2012

Wide Awake: Is Katy Perry Attracted to Jerks? Dating John Mayer.

Singer Katy Perry just dumped husband Russell Brand, whom many say was “a boozer, a user and a loser,” (to quote Amy Sedaris from “Strangers With Candy”)

Now the “Wide Awake.” Warbler has been hitting the town with panty collector, and whiny singer, John Mayer.

Many speculate that Perry’s apple pie only get heated around jerky guys; can’t she just date one of those nice boys from “Glee”? OK, moving on.

I guess Mayer is hot; as long as he doesn't sing.

Perry’s parents are both Pastors, and she’s admitted leading a sheltered life early in her career. Of course at 27, Perry seems to be still acting like she’s 14, in her music; which works, and in her love life; which doesn’t.

Before jumping in the sheets with Brand, Perry dated Gym Class Heroes lead singer and walking bong, Travie McCoy; another winner.

Why do attractive and talented women like Perry date only losers? A dime store shrink would say she’s still trying to piss off her religious parents; I say bastards just warm her tuna melt. Can Perry get over her Teenage Dream? Time will tell. Dig her or not, she coughs up some good tunes and we like her for that.

Monday, August 6, 2012

I love Target and Target loves me.

I just went to Target or Tarjay as some of my fancier friends like to call it. I thought I was amazed at how great Lynda Carter looks for her age; What’s more amazing, I got all this loot for about $80.00. Try getting the same stuff at Bed, Bath and Beyond (beyond your wallet,) and the price would be double.

Michelle Obama made waves and had Republican noses in the air when she was photographed at a local Target; showing she’s one first lady who isn’t a snob when it comes to shopping. I bet Nancy Reagan or Barbara Bush would’ve never put one sensible flat-shoed-foot in Target’s door.

Captain Hook would be jealous.
What’s not to like at Target? With everything from food-to-skincare it’s no wonder big named designers have started selling their stylish rags through Target, and here’s the best part about that, you get off the Runway looks, that leave you with enough money to afford cocktails afterwards, and a perfect opportunity to show off your new duds.

When you live on your own in a big city like Manhattan, you have to learn where to cut corners. What I really love about Target is they might be low on prices, but they’re anything but low on taste. Compare Target to similar discount stores like Walmart, and a blind person could tell the difference. Target is for the bitch on a budget with taste, and I love shopping there.
Lynda Carter (61!) 2012 , damn  she's really Wonder Woman

Is Jeremy Renner aiming for Target or the people who say he's A lover of gentlemen?

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

“On The Floor,” Jennifer Lopez’s Boyfriend Caught in Gay Video Store.

“Love Don’t Cost A Thing,” some may say, but it might be costing Jennifer Lopez’s boyfriend, Casper Smart J-Lo’s pocket book. Various magazines have printed photo’s, catching Smart entering and leaving a 24 hour XXX video store in New York’s Time Square; known to be a cruise place for homosexual men, who have sex in the video store booths.

“Let’s Get Loud,” Lopez 43, is hotter than burnt rice and beans, issuing a statement through her lawyers.

"These statements are false, malicious and defamatory," the couple's attorneys, Howard Weitzman and Shawn Holley, said in a statement this morning. "Ms. Lopez and Mr. Smart will pursue all remedies available to them under the law." Um, I doubt Mr. Smart could afford to do that.

An employee of the porn shop claims that Smart, 25, stopped by the seedy store on the day before he helped Lopez celebrate her 43rd birthday (Smart threw a party on a yacht for Lopez; friends of Lopez, who-are-really-not-friends, say Lopez paid the bill for her own surprise birthday present from Smart, which answers the question, “If You Had My Love.”

One wonders if he was humming, “Do It Well,” when he entered the store; no matter what Smart was doing in the XXX video store, I don’t see why he would go at all. Some speculate Smart was just doing what comes naturally for a horny hot-headed 25-year-old dancer, and suggest Lopez needs a reality check fast. Fans of Lopez are, “Goin In,” for the kill, remarking that Smart is a pig, and a fool to cheat on a beauty like Lopez who has money to burn.

No matter the excuses Smart can come up with, the photos don’t lie and something tells me, Smart won’t be “Waiting For Tonight,” When Lopez gets home from work.