Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Zooey Deschanel is Annoying and Should go Away.

I hate Zooey Deschanel; even her name is annoying.

Zooey Deschanel, 32, has been buzzing like a flame around a light bulb in a gas station restroom for years; never getting too close to big time fame; some would have given up; got knocked up by some rich jerk from the Valley and eventually joined “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew,” but not Deschanel; she just waited, pretending she’s 16-years-old, and her mom and dad left her home, alone; wow what kooky and wacky adventures can a turd face get up to?

Deschanel has hit the big time now with Fox’s “New Girl,” which is limping to its second season this fall. She plays a kooky girl blah-blah (though I do have to say the other actors on the show are great) wouldn’t a semi-hit TV show be enough?

Unfortunately her agent has bi$$er ideas and somehow has got her commercials for iPhone (which everyone involved should be forced to listen to Jennifer Lopez sing without her audotune) Her iPhone commercial is so obnoxious and annoying, grown men have been known to beat their head in with the remote to block out Deschanel’s wacky ways.

Deschanel is a like a bad case of lice; it’s like little, quirky eggs are hatching everywhere. Open a magazine and there she blows! She’s in ads for Pantene now; in the ad Deschanel has fake, photo shopped hair and odd pouty mouth; that resembles the fish my dad use to catch in Lake George.

Hopefully someone will throw Deschanel out with the trash and we wil be able to watch TV and read a magazine without her stupid bangs staring back at us.

Sadly, laundry mat gossips tell me Rimmel, a cosmetics brand, has signed Deschanel; the infestation continues.

looks like she sat on something too big.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Romney’s 47%: 9 Out Of 10 States That Pay No Tax Are Republican States.

Mitt Romney is in such hot water his ironed jeans might wrinkle. In speaking to a group of wealthy donors, Romney worked over the hoity-toity-white crowd with remarks about Obama’s America.

“All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent on government, who believe they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you name it. That's an entitlement. And that government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what…These are people who pay no income tax."

According to the non-partisan Tax Policy Center, the total is between 46 million and 47 million, including more than 16 million elderly Americans. For the record the 10 states that don’t pay income tax; 9 out of 10 are Republican states.

I have to say I agree with Romney, there are a lot of people who milk the government like the Octomom’s brats milk her. I myself grew up ‘in da hood,’ and always saw so-called poor neighbors with new cars every year and the newest stereo equipment, and no one ever went to work; they just collected Welfare and lived it up on the taxpayer’s dime.

What I don’t agree with Romney’s idea is that everyone thinks they’re victims; some people have legitimate excuses; what’s always hard for most Republicans to understand is: why most poor people can’t get hired for a job. Some are lazy bums yes, but many don’t have the connections like most rich ass wipes; it’s damn hard to get in the door. What’s the old saying, in the workplace; it’s who you know or who you blow?

Some are predicting this scandal will hurt Romney, but I don’t think it will; for those who agree with him whole heartedly I think they will be happy about what he said.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Rape, Depression, Sexism: Cyndi Lauper’s Excellent New Book.

Cyndi Lauper, 59, is most famous for her cartoon voice, quirky personality, wind-up toy energy and a quip to end every sentence. She became famous for her first hit single, “Girls Just Want To Have Fun.” But it wasn’t much fun for Lauper as she struggled for years, before getting famous in the 1980’s. The sassy Star shows a serious side in her shocking, yet uplifting new book: Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir.

Lauper’s book is candid, dishy and inspiring to all who’ve been down the same road; rather it be in the entertainment industry or just hard times in life. Most stunning about the book is her candor, Lauper doesn’t hold back when it comes to how she feels about celebrities she’s worked with, and shows her range as a writer in this page turner; that is sure to bring tears as well as smiles.

Born to a working class mother in Queens New York, Lauper and her two siblings didn’t always have much. Her mother worked 14 hour days as a waitress; so it gave Lauper plenty of time to discover her love of music, often listening to the Beatles, Billie Holiday and Ella Fitzgerald. Things changed horribly at home when Lauper’s mother married a pedophile, who beat and terrorized Lauper and the family. She left home at 17, when she caught her stepfather watching her take a bath.
Cyndi Lauper in the 1980's when she first hit the scene.
Things didn’t get much better out in the real world. Full of spunk but short on cash, Lauper hitchhiked one day to a job interview (as people did in the 60’s & 70’s) and was trapped by a man in a car, who wouldn’t release her until she had sex with him. Raped several more times (one guys own girlfriend cruelly held her down while he abused her) Lauper was often an emotional wreck but found her solace in music-especially “Across the Universe” by John Lennon. Lauper told the New York Post about the significance of the song, “I sang it to myself all the time because it had a prayer in it and it would help me to free my mind.”

Don't like the cover, but the book gets 4 Stars!
As Lauper prepares for the tidal wave of publicity that will follow the books release, she’s mostly crossing her fingers that “Kinky Boots,”-which is based on the 2005 British cult film, and has a musical score by Lauper-book by Harvey Fierstein, will be a hit when it premieres in Chicago Oct. 4-Nov. 2, On April 4, 2013 “Kinky Boots,” will officially open in New York on Broadway; not bad for a poor, Queens, New York girl.

Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir will be released on September 18, 2012.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

First photo of Jane Fonda as Nancy Reagan in “The Butler.”

In Oh Shit!News Jane Fonda Plays Nancy Reagan!

In the new film “The Butler” Jane Fonda plays Nancy Reagan, judging by the photo’s, Fonda will have to drop half her body weight, to resemble that glittery celery stick known as Nancy Reagan; Maybe Fonda should dust off one of her old Jane Fonda Workout tapes and get to steppin.

I love Jane Fonda, but Judy Davis would have been a better choice to play Nancy.

Alan Rickman plays memory deprived Ronald Reagan, I don’t think he looks much like the former president either, who cast this thing; Stevie Wonder?

Oprah Winfrey is in it as well and she looks, well like Oprah Winfrey with a couple of gray hairs, oh well maybe other stars like John Cusack, James Marsden, Minka Kelly, Liev Schreiber, Robin Williams, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Terrence Howard will rock their parts.

“The Butler" tells the story of a White House butler (played by Forest Whitaker) who served eight presidents over the course of three decades. The film comes out in 2013.

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Snooki’s Baby Photos; If You Give A Crap.

The Malls of New Jersey didn’t let stores like Forever 21, Dressbarn and Torrid open until way past noon on August 26th in honor of “The Jersey Shore’s” Snooki, who finally popped out her baby (named Lorenzo) after 24 hours of labor; marking the first time Snooki has had her legs open for 24 hours without booze.

Snooki unveiled her buddle of Mounds Almond Joy to the world today in exclusive (because they paid her) pictures in the new issue of People magazine.

Snooki told the gabby magazine that her party days are over-at 24-years-old! One has to wonder if Snooki can actually get anyone interested in her; when she’s not a drunk mess. I guess people would still watch her on TV without the aid of the bottle because of her great mind, and the way she talks all physiological and shit, sure.

Well the little baby is purdy and the boyfriend is handsome, and will probably spend all her money but Que Sera, Sera (whatever will be, will be)

Pick up the new People magazine and check it out. Also P!nk is in it and looks great!