Sunday, January 29, 2017

Hair Extensions Are From Dead People.

Jennifer Aniston recently said hair extensions ruined her real hair, and it’s no surprise, not everyone should be wearing them, and not everyone who does them; does them right. Women of a certain age really shouldn’t have long-ass hair; it doesn’t have to be short, but those long strings hanging on a lot of these women and celebrities make them look like Barbie dolls found in a dumpster behind a Special Needs daycare.

I’m breaking the code of the comb here. I’m not supposed to discuss this but what the hell; it’s just you, my Hair Junkies and friends at HTYM. Has anyone ever wondered where all of this hair comes from that they use in hair extensions? A rumor is a little hair fairy drops it off after every rain storm. If you believe that I have some swamp land I'd love to sell you in Florida. If you investigate the extension people they will sweetly inform you that all the hair is donated from village women from a far off country. Yeah, this might satisfy a reality television personality (because they’re dumb and have no soul) but really? I know from good source that the majority of hair extensions are cut off corpses. That is where some of these places get their hair from, dead bodies, and you think you suffer for beauty!

So it’s nice to know, if you drop dead someone will shave your head and sell it to a company, then resell it to a hairdresser, who in turn will piece it on some strange woman’s head. Death really is a bitch.

It’s pretty gross when you think about it; people wearing someone else’s hair on their head. I was really happy when Miley Cyrus took out her extensions and cut her hair short; no matter what the beauty industry tells you, short hair looks great on a lot of people, especially when you’re young. 20-year-old girls don’t need fake hair and fake eyelashes and fake everything; it’s when your older that you’ll have to pack on more of the artificial to look au natural.

I myself like fake hair extensions that you can clip in, you can’t wash or blow dry them, but they are great to stick in when you need them, just toss them out when they get fugly.

Also no dead spirits will haunt you in the middle of the night, chanting, “Give me back my hair, bitch!”

For the real deal about extensions and hair, check out my NEW book,  Your Hair Looks Like Crap!: How to look expensive in a cheap world, here on Amazon  Only $2.99!

Some Editorial Reviews for YHLLC:
"Every woman needs this book on her shelf. Ever wonder what your hairdresser really thinks of you? Read on girls and laugh your a** off!"-Barbara Morretti, Source Books.

"The celebrity stories are vicious and telling...just how I like them." William ...Katz, Gay Happening Weekend.

"Shocking, funny and educational. I bet I'll never get a bad haircut again after reading this"- Nora Felipe, Glam-Girl Online.

"Taylor makes a point that other 'hair' books are all fluff. He certainly tells it like it is, and I loved every minute of it!"- Gemma Stone, Beauty World, England.

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Marla Maples Wants Hairdresser To Work For Free

Marla Maples and creepy doll look-a-like daughter, Tiffany Trump, tried to get a hairdresser to do their hair for free, in exchange for 'promoting' them on their Twitter.

Hairdresser said she works for a fee, not for free...

I've worked with the public for 20 years, and always found people with the most money, ask for the most discounts and free services. I'm glad this hairdresser balked at mom and daughter con-artists, Marla Maples and Tiffany Trump.

Hairdressers stand on their feet all day, listen to people as they talk their ears off, get nickled and dimed by most salon owners, and mostly work on commission without health coverage. They deserve to get paid for their work and tipped if they do a great job.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

What I Learned From Having A Dog.

When navigating through life it’s easy to get caught up in materiel things. As humans we are born and bred to succeed at all cost. As you get older and make (hopefully) more money it’s easy to get caught up in only YOUR world. That changes for the better when you adopt a pet. Having a dog has taught me to slow down and experience life.

Sometimes at the end of the day I get home and my dog wants to go out. Dogs don’t “get” you’re tired when you come home from work. Sometimes I silently pray he does it fast, so I can chill out but even on the worst days his energy is contagious. For dogs, going out is more than a potty run; its social time. For my dog he wants to know what humans are outside; what butts are worth sniffing; what wonderful smells linger in the bowls of New York. Having a dog makes you more social-rather you like it or not. For the first time in my life I actually know and talk to most of my neighbors. My dog will demand attention and if you don’t give it he will bark at you  (I’m more known to pant when I don’t’ get attention)

Having a little person in your life makes everything complete. Some people compare having a pet to having children and I agree. When you have an adorable living thing that depends on you, needs you to feed it, needs you to kiss his bruise or has something stuck in his paw, your outlook is so different, as is your life. This little breathing thing needs you to live, and after awhile you need them to live.

Sometimes sitting at work I wonder if my dog is ok. If I’m at a bar too long and the evening is dragging on I think of my little fellow waiting for me, and I have to say unless you’re in your early 20s-you’d rather be home with your pup, than a dark bar with high priced drinks and watered down looking people.

In my years on this earth I’ve been a bunch of different people, from poor kid to semi successful grown-up. The best role I feel proud of is the joy my heart feels every-time I see my dog asleep on my lap. No amount of money, friends, material things or accomplishments will ever matter as much as the true love I get from my dog. We all seem to be fighting for something better in life and when we get it we’re faced with the big question, “Now what?” When you raise a pet you have a tremendous feeling of accomplishment and all you had to do was look beyond yourself. Me-me-me becomes him-him-him or her-her-her.

Hudson Taylor and Dante
My dog has become so famous, he has his own facebook page (littledante) I became the parent I always said I would never become, and I could never be happier.

No matter what happens to me in life; rather I’m rich or poor, strong or weak, my dog will remain the same towards me, and I will be his owner in name, but really coiled to him until he or I die.